I am a Nazi.

I assure you I am.

Why, I agree with all of the Nazi teachings.

Hitler is Führer.

Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten.

But not all Nazis fit into your category of “bad”.

Most of us are good people.

I mean, you don’t need to take everything Hitler says literally.

Obviously, it’s bad to kill Jews.

Nobody in their right mind would kill someone simply because they were a Jew.

That part of Führer’s speeches are metaphorical.

In fact, Hitler doesn’t condone killing.


Death is more of a metaphor on politics.

You wouldn’t understand, you’re not a Nazi.

Communists aren’t that bad either.

I know Hitler says we should kill communists.

But you can still be a Nazi and disagree with some of what Hitler says.

I have a confession.

I’ve never actually read Mein Kampf or heard Hitler speak.

I get the gist of it though;

Aryan supremacy is important because Mein Kampf says it is.

Mein Kampf is right because Aryan supremacy is important.

Honestly, what don’t you understand?

Besides, why not just join the Nazi party?

You don’t lose anything.

If you don’t want to kill Jews, you don’t have to.

All you need to do is accept Adolf Hitler as Führer.

Nothing else really counts.

Where do you get off judging all Nazis by a few bad ones?

We’re not all extremists.

Most of us are really tolerant.

But I assure you, I am a Nazi.

It’s really rude to say I’m not one because I like Jews.

It’s generalizing, racist, and it makes the good ones of us feel bad.

Besides, at least we can agree hat gypsies are bad.

What, so you want more gypsies on Earth?

You owe your life to the Nazi Party.

Look at the state of our government. Look at the state of our country.

How could you attribute that to anyone but Führer?

Not all Nazis are the same.

I’m a good person.

You don’t need to take all the teachings literally.

The holocaust wasn’t really caused by Nazis.

The people in World War Two just happened to be Nazis.

Besides, who are you to determine what makes a person a Nazi?

Ideas change over time, and so does the definition of Nazi.

I personally choose to be a Nazi, and though you don’t think I’m a real one, I am.

So, World Ice Theory is hard to understand.

I get that.

Personally, I believe in World Ice Theory.

But there is a lot of evidence for relativity…

Perhaps I believe in both.

After all, they really don’t clash.

And this theory is as good as yours.

When it all boils down, I have the right to be a Nazi.

It’s protected by my rights.

You can’t tell me what to believe.

My opinion is just as valid as yours.

Just to clarify, there are many different types of Nazis.

And you can’t judge us all based on a few.

Just look at me;

Am I not moral?

Am I not good?

I am a Nazi.

I assure you I am.

You just wouldn’t understand.

You’re not a Nazi.

You poor brown eyed soul.